I am Mr Law

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Back To The Future

"I wish I could turn back time". & a few days ago I recalled a song by Aqua: "If only I could turn back time, If only I could say what I still hide. If only I could turn back time, I could stay for the night, for the night". I am caught in this transitional period and I must say I hid it well. I am not adapting to NIE as well as others deem me as. Perhaps I can pretend well, or I was distracted by an even more disturbing issue, which I really wish to put a quick end to it.

Yes, I dont sound happy, & I dont intend to pretend to be happy anymore. It is tiring to be who I am not, when I was so happy to be who I want to be.

There are so many times we may fall in this path of life. We were not promised that roses will be laid on this path; in fact we were already prepared for tough times. However, easier said than done. We usually get so cooped up in our own situation, that we failed to realise & look at the possible solution, however slim it may be.

It is so easy for me to fall back on my fond memories in HSS when I was still teaching. Happily doing what I wanted to do and basking with the students I love being around with. Those 19 months were irreplaceable; unforgettable. There were many times I still couldnt accept the fact that I am no longer the "Mr Law" I used to be. Weakness it may be; escapism others may deem it. But when I thought of those good times, I can bring myself out of the present situation, however bad it may be, but only temporarily.

But, the root problem is still not solved. Harping & holding fast to PAST good times wont help the PRESENT situations. Sometimes, not being in the present, facing the present, seeking to solve the present is itself another set of problem. I learned this after these past few weeks of "escapism". Time lost will never be retrieved. The key to really be happy is to make full use of the present that we have and treasure whatever things or people with us.

Bring Me To Life.

I am Mr Law :)
Tuesday, August 26, 2008

"What do you want out of teaching?"

This question was posted by my AED105 lecturer to us during lecture. Many responses were illicited and many perspectives were shared. I benefitted and got my belief system renewed and reaffirmed.

All along I had learned one principle, & still am holding fast to that no matter what happens.

"Treat others with respect regardless of who they are and you will win your respect". I was not respected as a person, as a student, as a friend when I was young, & I can understand how terrible the feeling is when one is given such treatment. So as I grew, I told myself that I shall treat people with respect, even if they may do me wrong. Well, Im not perfect so that principle did fell at times. I carried this belief with me into HSS when I started teaching.

"Although Im your teacher and an adult, I will give all of you my respect & treat you all as teenagers & not children. But if you cross the boundary and overdo, I will take back my respect for you". This was my pet sentence as I introduced myself to all my previous classes on my first lessons. I dont know how much was received and perceived by them, but I do know some did at least.

As I recalled, I am very touched by a few letters from some students as I left HSS in July.

"Thank you Mr Law for accepting our class and gave us respect. We feel appreciated and cared for and that made us want to learn from you."

"No teacher treated me with respect but you did"

I am not boasting. All these welled up in my mind as the lecture went on & as I reflected on the things I had done in my 19 months in HSS. I smiled as I recollected because I think I did what I had set out to do: To teach students the meaning of respect and the feeling of being respected. Respect is to be earned, not commanded.

I want to preserve my beliefs and ideals in teaching and not waver in the advent of challengesand crisis. I mean it.

I am Mr Law :)
Wednesday, August 20, 2008

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I am Mr Law :)
Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Apollo Sentosa Outing

A great day @ Sentosa with my beloved OG: Apollo!

I am really fortunate to have had two magnificient & fun OG in my JJC & NIE orientations. Well, how easy is it for strangers who barely knew one another for a few days and coming from different walks of life to be able to still bond after the orientation? It is not easy I must say. Thank God for blessing me with such great friends, who I believe will make my 4 years of NIE life interesting and vibrant yea, if we hold on together.

As the saying goes:"A picture paints a thousand words". I shall let the photos taken on that day do the talking. It was a wonderful (though painful) Monday school holiday.

The group photo

Guys power. Apollo Oei!

Sinner Sin Er Sin Ng Sin Ee

Now with the shirts on.

I wish for more such outings in future with Apollo. Thanx alot for all the fond memories and time spent together so far.

"Treasure what you have for you may not know what tomorrow may brings or take away from you" -- Unknown

I am Mr Law :)
Saturday, August 9, 2008

"Defiance" is a word we so often use & so often hear.

When we were a child, if we were to be slightly disobedient to those who were more senior than us, we are defiant. "No, I dont want to learn piano, I prefer to play soccer" = defiance.

Adolescence is the stage when this word is being used the most frequent on us, and people usually term it as the "turbulent stage". Any answer that is opposite to the adults' is seen as a challenge, a form of defiance. Sometimes when we say something, it is defiance. When we keep quiet instead, it is also defiance - silent defiance they term it. "Well, I prefer to do it my way. I think that yours may not work" = defiance + pride. Sometimes adults cant seem to be pleased with any way a teenger do something. It just makes people exasperated.

Because of the exasperating adolescence experience, when many have reached the stage of adulthood, their defiance become a form of indifference. Indifference is the most dangerous and hardest form of defiance to tackle. "I am not bothered by what happened because I cant be bothered anyway."

Sometimes it is the situations that others put us in that made us defiant. Cant they stop short to listen a little more, observe a little more, feel a little more before they speak and pass remarks? Perhaps people usually thought that teenagers are the ones who have to grapple with "defiant" issues. Actually, adults do also. I am one of them. What is wrong with wanting to be different from others, being not the norm, being the special case? Are we really so cooped up in this society that prize only collectivism; the art of following what others do, even if it means to demean oneself? I dont understand, and sometimes I am turning my defiance into indifference.

Many think that defiance is baddddddd, is something negative. Even religious leaders go against people who have defiant behaviour or action. The issue here is: sometimes defiance is a form of self defence. It is not the action that is wrong, it is the attitude. I am also not a supporter of defiant attitudes. It is sometimes the mentality and action that I think is necessary, for us to be able to come out of a situation.

Imagine someone branded you "stupid, lousy and a good-for-nothing with no talents and abilities". If one were to have a defiant attitude as a response to that, he/she will purposely go against the person, say a teacher, by not doing the homework, not studying for tests and exams. The end result is, the student completed the mission to be a defiant one by failing the subject, but at the expense of his own future. On the other hand, having a defiant mentality, the student will go against what the teacher said by working doubly hard and scoring well to prove the teacher wrong. Both are defiance, but the latter one is the type which should be encouraged, because it can turn defeat into victory.

Even in many aspects of life, defiance is necessary. I was reminded of sports. If my team were to be behind my opponent and time is ticking away, the norm would be "we will lose for sure,we cant catch up". But it is the defiance of "we shall never give up. The battle is not lost yet" that will give us the slim lifeline. Isnt that defiance? Isnt that the key to turning imminent defeat into victory? If we do not even possess that tinge of defiance, how do we become overcomers and winners?

I am a defiant person. I will not jump on the bandwagon blindly just because someone told me so, and told me that it is good for me. I mean, well, I am also a human made by God who has so kindly given me a brain to think, eyes to see, mouth to speak and hands to do. So I believe that not everything that people tell me may be necessarily good for me. Give me a chance to try, to experience, to enjoy life. Of course apart from committing vices and the unethicals, i do wish to make use of all the abilities God has bestowed me. I want to remain active and be an overcomer of adversities.

I am Mr Law :)
Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Well, today is the 3rd day of schooling life for Mr Law, & I must say it is not at all that rosy. Apart from that daze sustained from the hectic but fun orientation week which made me lose my voice, the immense commitment required for GESL is not really helpful to my recuperation. Im fine with the idea that NIE is trying to help expand our network and also for us to build rapport with fellow school mates, but perhaps not so much during our transition period I suppose. Frankly speaking, I would prefer to spend more time with my OG Apollo. Being split between two groups is not at all beneficial in helping us to establish strong and sound friendships. This of course, is solely my own opinion.

1st lesson on Mon, glad to see Michelle Tan from V3. I prefer to have a friend for lesson always. Geography is best, because of Ms Sin EEEEEE who will be my classmate for at least one semester, and also 2 other OG friends for lecture. Geography is my least lonely module. History is kinda fine also, have Alfred as my mate and also a few CTSS juniors. Just that the lecturer is a little soft. It would be much appreciated if he could use a mic for future lectures. Talk about my AED105. To sum it up, there are 22 students in the class; 21 are females.......... I know that males are rather scarce in NIE, but I cant fathom why my class has only 1 male?! Dont the programmer know that I feel so out of place in the class, with 21 females? Somehow, I feel that Im unwelcomed, in a world of all girls.

In a new environment, one must learn how to adapt, and in this fast paced world, speed in the adaptation is also essential. The saying that "time waits for no one" is true. I could have due to my age and experience, not bothered to make friends or make myself adapt to the changes around me. I could have allowed time to pass me: the time & opportunity to base myself in NIE by making friends. Again, it boils down to choices. Imagine if I had chose not to open myself to knowing my OG during the orientation camp; not keeping close contacts with them after the camp; not bothering to check who my classmates will be before my lessons and choose to sit by myself. A lot of what ifs. But Im glad I made the sound choice of maintaining a open mind and heart. Relishing the chance to meet more people in NIE.

Looking forward to my NIE life.

I am Mr Law :)