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Back To The Future
"I wish I could turn back time". & a few days ago I recalled a song by Aqua: "If only I could turn back time, If only I could say what I still hide. If only I could turn back time, I could stay for the night, for the night". I am caught in this transitional period and I must say I hid it well. I am not adapting to NIE as well as others deem me as. Perhaps I can pretend well, or I was distracted by an even more disturbing issue, which I really wish to put a quick end to it.
Yes, I dont sound happy, & I dont intend to pretend to be happy anymore. It is tiring to be who I am not, when I was so happy to be who I want to be.
There are so many times we may fall in this path of life. We were not promised that roses will be laid on this path; in fact we were already prepared for tough times. However, easier said than done. We usually get so cooped up in our own situation, that we failed to realise & look at the possible solution, however slim it may be.
It is so easy for me to fall back on my fond memories in HSS when I was still teaching. Happily doing what I wanted to do and basking with the students I love being around with. Those 19 months were irreplaceable; unforgettable. There were many times I still couldnt accept the fact that I am no longer the "Mr Law" I used to be. Weakness it may be; escapism others may deem it. But when I thought of those good times, I can bring myself out of the present situation, however bad it may be, but only temporarily.
But, the root problem is still not solved. Harping & holding fast to PAST good times wont help the PRESENT situations. Sometimes, not being in the present, facing the present, seeking to solve the present is itself another set of problem. I learned this after these past few weeks of "escapism". Time lost will never be retrieved. The key to really be happy is to make full use of the present that we have and treasure whatever things or people with us.
Bring Me To Life.