I am Mr Law

Where is the love?

2009-05-21T10:07:00.000-07:00

Where is the love?

We all need love. Peter in Corinthians even mentioned that with love, it helps to channel faith and hope into our lives and also others' lives. Love is definitely very powerful: it can construct, as well as destruct. We all have been so exposed to dramas and movies portraying the mighty effect of love and being in love. "Oh if I could be with this so & so, I would not live a day of my life in tears or in pain". "I will die for her, i will fight for her, i will do anything for her, even if it will cost me everything in my life". But wait a minute, is a relationship really that rosy? That full of romance and ever sweet tasting?

I have seen many people around me coming together; some given the blessings from others while some had to go on even though family and friends objected to the relationships. Yes, it is not wrong for people to find a partner, get together, develop a relationship then perhaps develop even further. Love is the biggest need in our lives. It is like our oxygen. But what exactly is love? Is it merely a boy-meet-girl, then boy-go-after-girl, then boy-ask-girl-for-steady thing? Romance is merely a small portion of a greater love which encompasses so vastly and generated by so many different sources. Friendship is one type of love, so is the warmth of a family. So is God's love.

Recently, I have a friend who suffered a terrible setback from her relationship. It was a very harsh reality and a defeat hard to swallow. Who likes to be treated like a treasure during the initial courting phase, then only to be treated with little respect when things don't go well during the courtship? Met a friend for dinner also, and she is also one who was hurt from her last relationship and she mentioned that she would not want to get into another relationship again because it hurts. Somehow as you read this, you may have recounted about people whom you know who had also landed into a sorry plight because of LOVE, or perhaps you are one of them. Then as you pondered and wondered, you feel that love can't be positive because it brings many hurts and tears. You develop a wall inside your heart, telling yourself not to trust people easily anymore, especially the opposite gender. "It is to protect myself, so its better to keep a distance". That, in actual fact, is merely escapism.

Love is not complicated; it is the people who make it complicated.

How complicated can giving be? How difficult is it to make others feel treasured, wanted and happy? Sometimes we give excuses for ourselves:"I can't give love, because I am not even loved. I am empty inside and I feel so lacking". But how many ever wondered that to be able to give is actually more bliss than to be given? Over the years, Ive dedicated myself to volunteering, not because Im too free, neither was it to give myself a better image. It is a stir in my heart that tells me constantly that there are many people who don't get as much love from this world and that I can provide them with some of mine. I didn't exactly have a good and happy childhood. I struggled through my growing up years: finding my identity, my purpose, my love. Along the way, I felt so rejected, so lost and so disillusioned that I asked "why me?" upteem times. No friends were by my side to give me words of encouragement; in fact, I would be glad if none came to mock me or to dig an even deeper hole and hurl me inside.

Because of the not-so-positive growing up experiences in my family as well as in my school and social life, I unknowingly kept a distance from people in my teenage and young adult years. That was because I was afraid of rejections:"What if I give others my heart, but not get back in return? What if they treat me badly like how I was treated when I was young?" Thank God I did not turn out cold and unfriendly, because I made a choice. I may not be loved by people, but that doesn't mean I can't love others. That was the main reason I started to volunteer after NS in 2004. Initially I was doubtful of being able to take care of the elderly, the physically as well as the intellectually challenged, because I had no skills and experience. I was afraid that I might do or say words that may prick them. I fear this, fear that........ But, love dispels fears.

I am grateful that these friends whom I have been helping all these years were actually the ones who had helped me instead. They had helped me to realise that life can be very simple, non-threatening, peaceful and fulfilling. They taught me that its the heart that matters, not the physical appearance or capabilities. They helped to dispel my worries and tiredness with their greetings and smiles. A simple and innocent "hello kor kor, how are you?" is more mighty than all the stress that this fast-paced society adds on to our lives everyday. My purpose was to help them to grow, to enjoy life like how we can. In loving them, I grew more in return.

Love is unconditional. It is not about possessing someone: it is about giving our blessings if we can't be the one to provide for that person we care for. Love is about letting go: when keeping the hatred will impede you more than help you to move on. Love is wisdom: it is about knowing and choosing who to love more and who to love less. We are no saints, we can't ensure that we can treat everyone fairly, to be given an equal share of our love. It would be self deception if we tell ourselves that "I must treat everyone nicely because everyone is my friend". I used to think that way, but in life, it is not about Maths: you may not get back the same amount as you give out. Not EVERYONE can be our friends. Since that is the case, your precious love should then be respected for it should only be given to people who deserves it. When you give your love to someone, you are allowing that person to enter your life. His/her presence can make or break your life, so you ought to give your entry pass wisely and not indiscriminately.

To those who had suffered setbacks in relationships, do not give up & do not feel negative. Everyone of us is like a piece of jigsaw: not being able to bear fruits with this someone does not make you a lousy person. It merely means that your piece and the other party's piece doesn't match. Eventually one day, as we persevere and discover ourselves better, we may find that other piece of jigsaw that will eventually fit nicely with us.

Love is light.

2009-04-14T09:04:00.000-07:00

It has been a while

It has been a few months since I last updated. People asked me why I havent, and the answer was very clear within me:"There had simply been so many events and emotions that intertwined that no words could describe the events nor the feelings". It is very true that a picture can speak a thousand words and I wish I could replace all the postings with pictures that could say it all.

God is always trying to test us, with the objective of making us strong. Sometimes He does that by placing difficult people in our lives. Now, there are 2 difficult people in mine. One is within my home, the other within my volunteer circle. The one within my home is beyond my control; whereas the other one is within my control.

There is this "volunteer" who has been harrassing and attempting to torment me this one month. He is 30 this year but guess what? His favourite line is:" I am not a man, I am a boy, hee hee hee". Do you feel like puking? Well, i did so many times. There were so many occasions during the interactions with him when I suddenly felt so grateful and proud of all the students whom I had taught before. Hendersonians; ALL of you are so much much more mature than he is. And his favourite criticism on others? "You are not fit to be a volunteer." Ya we arent fit, so you as the 30 year old BOY is fit. The phrase "pot calling the kettle black" fits him perfectly.

During this one month, he tried all ways to antogonise me, in order to get a response from me. All the messages were defamatory, full of allegations and fabrication of untruths. I knew at once that he meant to make me angry, but I chose to hold back my reaction and responded with zero replies. He was unhappy, thus the attacks intensified. he would send one sms in the morning and one in the evening. See his intention: To unsettle me before I start my day and also after I ended my day. Such malicious and unscrupulous intents he harboured and one such message from him even read:" No wonder you are looked down by your ex colleagues. Start acting like a real teacher if you really wish to contribute to society". You know what is the biggest contradiction in this message? He wasnt even a teacher so how he even know who my ex colleagues were? When he failed to incite me to reply his appraently provocative messages, he sent even more attacks.

Should I tolerate because he is a very childish person who resorts to using words to psychologically harrass someone who crossed him, or should I see that justice is done? That was the biggest dilemma I faced this one month. Definitely I am no saint. I may have taught 800 students before but I am a human afterall. Does this mean that teachers have to be holy and allow others to verbally accuse them, insult them and antagonise them without fighting back? To him, a reply is never to my advantage. If i had responded to his attacks angrily, he would accuse and judge by saying:"call yourself a teacher. You are a disgrace because you are bad tempered." If i didnt, he will say and he did :"What a coward. Call yourself a teacher." In any way, he has the upper hand should I respond because he didnt have any civic responsibility whereas I have. But what is the message that will be given to him if his actions were left unpunished?

"No one said Im wrong so I should and can continue to launch such attacks on my enemies"

As an educator myself, I want to see that justice is done on my part personally. But from another perspective, it is about passing the correct message. Not all who comes down every Saturday to spend their time with the disabled is considered a good person by default. Does that mean that because Im a teacher, someone who is supposed to be held in high esteem, has the rights to insult and humiliate my students if they had crossed me? Never in my life had I branded any of my student stupid, nor had I openly shamed them in front of the others. My conscience is very clear on this. So to be criticised by this "man" regarding my professionism and character, is indeed a very big insult which I cant possibly take it lying. If a person is just and with clear conscience, even though the other person is an enemy you envisage, would you say something like:"hope you fail your assignments and exams you coward"? It is really very disappointing that such was the product of the highly credited education system of this country. To have not produced excellent academic results is ok, as long as one strives to work hard as a person beyond studies, that person is viewed as valuable. But to behave like a scum and hooligan and go around bringing down opponents like what politicians in other countries do, is really a hopeless case.

It was rather tough on my part. While he is constantly harrassing me, I had to hold back and not react. To react, I would lose this battle. This is not a battle of pride, but a battle of making the message clear:"You dont get your ways all the time. You have the freedom to speak, but you also have the duty to be made responsible for all the words that you used. So choose your words wisely or you shall face the consequences."

To all who are reading this, do ponder on times when you got so angry with someone that you wrote your emotions on your msn nick, Facebook nick, blog or through smses. He had done it all. But what do you get in return? Loss of image? Loss of character? Loss of self and other respect? In whatever case, we ought to exercise restraint. To him, he sees that I had hurt and angered him deeply because I had not supported him but instead supported others whom he had attacked verbally first. By standing up for others, I became his new target. However, no matter what "wrong" I had committed, does it make him right by launching scathing verbal attacks on me? A very simple example to illustrate my point. Student A said words that hurt Student B, so Student B hit A. In retaliation, Student B hit A back even harder because he was hurt. Both were brought to the discipline master. Conclusion? Im sure all students who are mature enough will know the answer. Both students will get punished because two wrongs doesnt make one right.

My decision on this issue is to resolve this episode in the adult way and make him be held responsible for all the actions and words he chose without consideration. We must all grow up.

Reflections by Ngiap Hui

2009-03-01T06:36:00.000-08:00

Reflections by Ngiap Hui

I initially thought I had known Singapore rather well enough, especially her historical past, but realised I was rather wrong after having gone through this intensive and purposeful Heritage Trail. I did not know that the Singapore River was that long. I did not know the existence of the 6 bridges across the river and also the names they bore which some appeared so foreign to me during the trail (Read and Ord Bridge). It took our group about 5 hrs to complete our trail and surely it was one of the longest walks in my life, but quite fun and enriching given that knowledge and awareness were acquired along the journey (the time capsule and the locations of various interesting statues etc). I appreciate this arrangement for the groups to embark on this learning journey which was tailored but not imposing on the dimensions and possibilities for us to learn. Had it been a classroom-based lesson, I suppose many of us would have been bored to death or switched off before we could absorb everything.

Apart from some fun garnered from the trip, I was also inspired on the future possible History lesson I could conduct for my students. Although it won't be that easy to get them to embark on their own Heritage Trails, this idea is still a possibility requiring some arrangements though. The blogging idea is good also, given that students are given the freedom to present their findings anyway they like and could, and which is accessible to all. Surely not every knowledge could be acquired in the classroom. There are definitely some which may be learned more effectively if we were to bring them out of the 4 walls and boundary and explore the historical wealth that lays beyond.

2009-01-13T06:44:00.000-08:00

A New Beginning -- 1st entry in 2009

Thanx to the holidays, I returned to NIE much fresher & light-hearted. The 1st semester was like a storm, never felt 6 months past by so fast like a flash before. Yes, Im sorry that I didnt blog for about 2 months, haha, because I didnt kow what to write about, because my holidays were spent practically in fun almost everyday. Well, managed to meet up with some good friends, some ex colleagues & also some of my beloved students (how can I not miss them?). Many things happened, in fact too many things, that I cant shorten everything in just one entry, so I shall update in summary, ha.

1) Thank God & also to many of my Hendersonians who gave me support during my down time, Mr Law is very appreciative of all the support. In return, I scored 4 As & 2 Bs for my last semester, with a GPA of 4.32. Well, if this sounds foreign to you, then I shall simplify into your term. In a batch of 50 students, less than 10 students will get an A. So it meant that for 4 modules, Mr Law is top 20% at least in the whole batch, perhaps even top 10%. I am aiming to do even better thsi new semester, so hopefully u all will too.

2) Im slowly adapting to life better in NIE and making more friends every other day. Life at NIE will be getting beyond just the lecture theatres, library & canteen. Will be hitting the soccer pitch and more activities soon.

3) I hope to pay a visit to HSS again perhaps during the CNY celebration, because I miss the school so much. Hear from me again ya.

I shall update my blog more regularly yea, so do continue to get yourself posted with "I am Mr Law" Cheeroz~~~~~~~~

Toughest Exam in my life

2008-11-18T06:33:00.000-08:00

Toughest Exam in my life

I have never experienced writing 30 pages worth of essays in a day before. Never tried answering 6 essay questions in a day before. Never written almost non-stop for a total of 5 hrs within a span of 6 hrs before. Today is truly a historic moment for me, and also for the other 7 students who like me, are taking both Geography and History as our majors. One Geography paper is challenging enough, but, the school thought we are superhuman, so they gave us a challenge to complete 2 essays, Geo & Hist on the same day. Seriously, halfway through my History paper, I was so frustrated and had wanted to give up, because I couldnt prevent from eyes from closing, and couldnt hold the pen any longer and continue writing. Is there a need for us to go through such pain? I couldnt understand why they cant separate the two papers. They were the ones who gave us the combination, yet also the ones who tried to kill us with such unfair exam schedule.

The last 3 days was totally wasted. What I had tried to memorised and the topics I prepared didnt come out as the questions. I thought that after honing the experience of settings 3 exam papers before, I would be sharp enough to spot the right exam questions. I was almost defeated totally today when I flipped over the Geo paper. I did my best well, let God do the rest bah.

Looking forward to Friday because that is the end of the exam, and also the outing with Apollo. What a 1st semester in NIE, unforgettable memories and perhaps, agony to some extent.

Back to the books, cheeroz.

Studying and Examinations can be really tiring

2008-11-17T00:05:00.000-08:00

Studying and Examinations can be really tiring

I know as a teacher, Im not supposed to think this way. Easier said than done. I wish I could be stronger, more disciplined and more focussed. But at this juncture, im just so tired from the rushed and compressed and demanding schedule in this first semester. It seemed like I had learned alot of stuff; but it also seemed like I had learned none. More is less & less is more, perhaps. There is simply too much for a person's brain and body to take and as Im blogging, Im feeling extremely exasperated, demoralised and explosive. Geography and History combined is really a killer, no matter how ingenious you are.

I don't know if it was meant to be, or a decision I should make to change the situation. Out of the 8 of us who are taking both Geography & History in the cohort of 482 students, already 4 of us are thinking of dropping one subject or switch to English. The amount of readings required is already daunting, not to mention the demand of the examination schedule. Which super student is able to do 2 exam essay papers on the same day? With one in the morning and the other 90 mins following which? I think I cant, I must admit Im a human afterall. No excuse for the plight im in now, but perhaps the coordinators can be smarter to realise that such a schedule will affect 8 students badly, jeopardardising their chances of doing well in this 1st semester.

Frankly speaking, Im not so happy with the course arrangements so far. Some lecturers who simply talk 2 themselves during lectures and tutorials and expecting us to produce work that is of the highest standard, beyond what they taught us. Or perhaps, what they failed to teach us. Im not a ultra hardworking student, but at least Im a serious learner. But even after I had tried my best given my situations, im already feeling like im failing.

I really need strength to carry on from here. Before I can become a tough man, im a dead man 1st.

Light & Love

2008-11-08T11:46:00.000-08:00

Light & Love

Came across this phrase of wisdom and felt its power. Though it is tough to fulfil, it is nevertheless the solution to many problems.

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can. Hate cannot dispel hate; only love can"

I dont know how to love and what to love, but hope I may love life nevertheless.

Hope you will too. Cheeroz.

A Brand New Start

2008-11-02T18:41:00.000-08:00

A Brand New Start

To sum up my 3 months plus in NIE so far: A long deep sleep which I feared not being able to wake up.

Now I finally woke up, after much struggle and turmoil, & have come to realised there were so many things & so much fun which I had missed. It was just an amazing journey, which I had tasted different emotions, seen sights and heard stories which I had not come across or not expect in school. I used to think that I am stable, that I could be mature enough to handle most issues or challenges, including friendship. But these 3 months have revealed to me that Im not that mature afterall, haha. I realised I can be quite naive & gullible. Its better to be late than never nontheless. I think I have grew slightly after having gone through some experiences. Cool.

Attended Ms Karen Chin's wedding in Johor Bahru on 2/11/08. Caught up with alot of teachers & the company was awesome. A chartered bus brought all of us in Singapore directly to the hotel, where we were given a separte room with ktv! Haha, sang a few songs with a few teachers, & hmm, they all can sing well. No one will believe we are teachers. Hmm, miss Lunch Time Concert again. Miss Hendersonians again. Miss teaching again. BUT, we shouldn't live in our past, otherwise we won't be able to see our future ahead, which could be even better. I shall live on this principle, though the past will serve as my sweet memories but not my burden to hold me back from running forward.

Now its countdown to exams. 4 papers on 3 days & the 1st is next Tuesday.

Lord, give me the strength and resilience to overcome the everyday challenges that may come and give me the wisdom to discern right from wrong, black from white. Make me a better person so that I can do your will and I pray this for all my students and friends.

Good to be back

2008-10-25T22:46:00.000-07:00

Good to be Back

I was truly overwhelmed on 23rd Oct Thurs. The feeling was back again; those feelings when I used to teach, used to talk to students & encouraging them when they feel down. It was simply more than what I had hoped for before I visited HSS again. Now that I am a student myself, I could better put myself in their shoes and emphatise with the challenges, issues and troubles they face while juggling studies with personal life. I am so glad many of them are happy with their lives and loving themselves. That, in my opininon, is one of the most important things in life: If we do not even love ourselves, who else, besides God, will come to love us? If we do not even love ourselves, how can we know how to love others?

For those of you who are reading this, perhaps you are feeling down, discouraged and dis-spirited because of your exam results. You might have put in a lot of heart and effort in your work, but the results did not reflect your labour. Some of you might have been in your slumber for most of the year, only to wake up and go on the full trottle at the last month, and you felt you could have possibly had pulled off a miracle. Whatever the reason for your less than expectation results, do not lose heart. This is the holidays now, rest hard, play hard and eat hard. Short breaks have to be taken in order to run a long race. Life is not a race to be rushed, but a race to be enjoyed and savoured.

Mr Law is currently also undergoing some challenging period, in my studies and also personal life. Somehow I just felt that things are not going the way they should be, & I am not what I used to be. It seems so easy for me to motivate others now but so tough for me to motivate myself. Ive reflected over these few days, took breaks from my hectic schedule and spent some quality time with some awesome friends. Sometimes caring and love for others are not spoken; they are done through actions. I appreciate those love and care, even from those of you who visit my blog & leave behind footprints in my tagboard. Tell you the truth, whenever I see a tag, I smile.

I was speaking to Zhang Xiao and he reminded me of a verse which I used to hinge on in the past but no longer recently. Thank you Zhang Xiao for encouraging me and pulling me back to who I should be again. And also thanx to all of you who took time and effort to catch up with me on Thurs despite it being the last day of school and to have resisted the temptation to just go out with friends to have fun. Though the time spent was short, it was invaluable. I hope to be back again next year.

Here is the verse which I had believed in since my NS days, when a sergeant I hated said that to us & that changed my whole frame of thinking. Here it is dedicated to all of you also:

"Tough training don't last, tough man & woman does."

ps: if you are reading this, Im terribly sorry for the stupidity which I had committed and the misery I brought to you. Sorry.

Busy Period

2008-10-16T08:54:00.000-07:00

Busy Period

It has been quite long since I last wrote. Perhaps because I had been writing quite alot lately, having completed two 2000+ words essays over 1 week. This is the period I fret since 1 month ago after I had planned out my schedule, because I knew I would be rather pre-occupied and that if any other unexpected matter crops up, I would feel the pressure. True enough, GESL is pushing me quite hard. Right now, its ventilating time.

The purpose of GESL is very clear & simple: plan a community service project as A GROUP and implement the project as A GROUP. Till now, I dont see any group effort. The leftists are trying their best to brainstorm and put up an event proper, through the contributions of ideas, opinions and even experience. But the rightists, simply can't wait for 7.30pm to come so that they can meet someone for dinner, whether or not they had contributed. Fine, if you dont wish to contribute your 2 cents worth (perhaps you have none), its ok because you may be new to community service. Hmm, but, please keep certain comments to yourself and please dont be an irritant during the meeting. You all are no longer young kids in your JCs or Polys so please, behave like what a University student ought to behave. & sorry, I dont think some of you can pass off as future teacher. I dont see anything valuable on you that students can learn from. Im not perfect but I know I am always willing to improve myself if Im not good enough.

I dont understand why the rush to have the camp, when planning has to be at the expense of our assignments submission period and also the examination time. I really find it an irony that Im so involved in this GESL's matters when I already have been volunteering for 4 years, ran 6 camps and organised countless events. Should this GESL experience be more important for those who have not done community service before or someone who is already in it? Wouldnt that defeat the purpose of GESL? Wouldnt that make those experienced ones more occupied and those fresh ones to have an excuse to skive? Seriously, I think this operation of GESL, at least for my group, has alot of room for improvement.

Another matter that irked me was when I found out that Mrs Sxxx had given students questions and answers to the examination. That was after having commented that Mr Lxx was a lousy teacher who cant teach & discipline students. I wonder if providing exam questions and answers is helping students afterall. Try giving them the false hope that teachers will know the O Levels questions. Try, & I dont need to be a genius to tell you that students will be the ones who will suffer. If doing well in an exam is so easy & important, shouldnt it be a skill that teachers should pass on to students so that during the process of preparing for the exams, they become mentally and intellectually stronger?

It is such a shame that the 18 months of efforts I put in were diminished by the action of one person. That made my sleepless nights spent preparing powerpoint slides, notes and giving consultations a joke. Why did I work so hard when someone will tell them what will be out for the exams and even telling them what answers will be accepted? Haha. Im quite tired now.

3 more essays to go. Looking forward to going back HSS on 23rd Oct, Thurs. Wait for me, Im coming.

Ka Hou Yu Yuen

2008-10-06T06:20:00.000-07:00

Ka Hou Yu Yuen

What a nice show: captivating, heart wrenching, pulsating, turbulent, exasperating, hilarious and moving. This was the show that possesses such tenacity and temptation that took me away from my work. I did learn a few things from the show though.

Perhaps some critics may say it is cliche; corny; unoriginal. I beg to differ. Even my parents were glued to their seats and could'nt take their eyes off the google box. A must watch for drama lovers.

Im glad that my ex students would have finished their exams when they read this. I am sorry that I was not able to be in HSS to fight the battle with all of you. I really wish I could, and I told myself that I will once I graduate. Time flew, it is week 10 now. Im not sure how many marks I got so thus far as a student. Perhaps its a just pass, or even a narrow fail. There are simply too many distractions, temptations and noise in my head that is taking away my focus. I am sorry that I once promised to focus hard on my studies and be a good role model for those of you still in HSS.

The past few weeks was like a slumber. I didnt know what I was doing, what I wanted to do & when I want to do what I need to do. In a nutshell, I was quite lost. The worst is, I didnt know what caused me to lose my way. It was like a sudden.

But thankfully, I managed to wake up from my long slumber and determined to be myself again.

Lord, give me the strength, the wisdom, the patience and ability to take on everyday's challenges that come, and may you not let me falter. Amen

It's Exam time

2008-09-24T21:22:00.000-07:00

It's Exam Time

Whenever the word "exam" is mentioned, frowns, sulking, complains and grumbling are the likely reactions from most people, children, teenagers or even adults. A word to sum it all: 'sian'.

I remember vividly when some students asked me before: "Mr Law, why must we take exams? Why cant we just study, finish the homework then move on to the next year? Exam is so irritating and troublesome." And the rest of the class will most likely agree in unison. In facing such a situation, as the teacher, my responsibility would be to disagree with the class.

Historically, the idea of examination originated from China during the Han Dynasty. It was introduced to allow meritocracy, aka a system based on peoples' abilities and knowledge. Imagine a society without such a system, the teacher teaching you History in class would be a school dropout at 11 years old; the lawyer who fights victims' cases used to be a a F9 student in English and the judge who converses in Hokkien pass the verdict "Li xi liao". A lot messier like this right?

I used to loathe studying, not to even mention exam. Like many students, I saw it as troublesome because there will be a period of time before the papers when I had to sacrifice: sacrifice my tv time, my sleep, my play and even my friends. Then I detested the idea of having to give up things I love for the things I hate. When I was in Sec 1 & 2, I didnt as well as I could have done.

As I mature, NOT GROW OLDER, I began to realise that such sacrifices are essential, for the better of the future. Yes you can enjoy life, enjoy your friends' company, enjoy the games on your computer and the mushy mushy sweet-talkings between the lovestruck couple on tv, but we cant enjoy ALL THE TIME. At this stage we can have less worries, but as we advance through the stages in life, we will eventually come to realise the importance of having done well in school while we were students. We cant change the fact that paper qualification is important for survival in our society, but we can choose to see it positively still. I see exams as challenges now, to attest that I had gained strength over the process of persuing something.

My dear students, examination is the end product of what you have learned. Studying is the process. Enjoy the process of learning and you will reap the fruits of your exams. Dont give up, dont be demoralised. Face this challenge bravely and with optimism. Mr Law is behind all of you.

Back to HSS

2008-09-19T10:09:00.000-07:00

Back to HSS

After 2 months. I finally came back to HSS for a visitation. Time really flies. The nostalgic sentiment overwhelmed me as I stepped into the school. Cliche huh? Well, perhaps I am someone who gets bonded to a place or people, especially if many fond memories are attached. Am I living in the past? Just the opposite.

I am so glad to have met so many of you on Thurs, 18th Sept. Dears, many of you have grown so much in just these 2 months. Mr Law is still as young, haha. But I really missed all of you, because all of you are irreplaceable.

Yes to all the complaints and frustrations due to the changes after my departure. If given a choice, I would have loved to stay on to finish my teaching through to the end of 2008. But heaven forbids and seriously, it wasnt easy for me to le go either. But I need to go, for the betterment of the future students, and also the betterment of the school.

Thank you for all the warm smiles and big "hello Mr Law!" reception. I am touched, though I can still hold back my tears. Like I used to always say. "See the big picture, look to the future. You owe yourselves the results and knowledge you gain, not others; not the teachers, not your parents, but yourselves". So, hold on my dears, hold on. Tough training wont last, but a tough student does.

Thank you for giving me the encouragement, motivation and affirmation for me to move on; for me to move into a new phase in my life; for me to experience a total change as I embark on my journey in NIE.

I am still Mr Law. I can make a difference. Miss you all and I will be back.

Are we beating the same rhythm?

2008-09-12T09:46:00.000-07:00

Are we beating the same rhythm?

Tough to sum up my week in a few sentences. Had a totally different Week 6 from the other 5 weeks. The timing is not right and it has never been right for me, thus far. Sometimes I rather stay in my own comfort zone and not try to venture, because sometimes things can get too adventurous for my heart to take when I travel too far.

Well, today I had a rare encounter, which made me realised that I have changed in some way.

On the way to NIE via bus 198, I saw a lady in her late 20s opposite my seat talking to another man. They seemed like they were having a tiff as the lady appeared as "begging" the man for forgiveness. I sat down, took off my spectacles and cleaned it. Suddenly, I saw that lady approaching the seat beside mine and she stretched out her hand to try to remove my earphone. I was taken aback obviously. Then I heard:"Just give me 5 mins, just 5 mins".

I hurriedly put my spectacles on and was surprised to hear her "crying". "Please, please give me $10. I need to see the doctor. I got no $". It was another case of begging in public, which I had encountered several times. This time, I felt differently, though not heartless.

"Giving you $10 wont help you." I told her calmly.

"Can. Consultation fee is only $9+". I was surprised to hear that. It seemed that she had her calculations done before she boarded the bus to solicit.

This time, I didnt want to commit the same mistake which I did in the past.

"Do you know it is not right? If you get caught doing this, no one will be around to take care of your family". She paused, as if the words got into her ears but not her heart. "Please, I beg you. I kneel down and beg you". She constantly placed her hand on my arm and I had to repeatedly remove her hand, lest she counter accuse me of molest.

"Giving you $10 wont help your situation. If you need help, you have to seek help from the government". Then I was even more astonished when she turned her head and told me:"No $10 nevermind. $2 also can".

I left the bus when I reached the MRT station, telling myself that I need to stand firm. Immediately after I left, she went towards the back and solicted from the others.

Which is the right thing to do? Sympathise with her because she pleaded and even went to the extend of kneeling down to implore, so giving her what she demanded will appease my heart? Or tell her the reality that there is no free lunch in this world, that no one should beg for a living? I was sad that despite being able bodied, she is not earning her own keep by working. I have met so many less able bodied people who yearns and works very hard in order to get a job, so that they could be self reliant. Why would one person's dignity, self-esteem and self-worth be only worth $10?

Do I want to give my students a fish each day to sustain them daily, or do I want to teach them the skill of fishing so that they wont go hungry even without me? What's yours? I want to teach people the art of fishing.

Reunion

2008-09-06T19:24:00.000-07:00

Reunion

Monday was a great reunion for me with my two beloved Peixian & Racheal. Though I didnt spell out clearly, I was very very happy to have seen you two after 2 months that day ya. I am so used to spending holidays and school vacations with you all and frankly speaking, I thought that everything would change after I started teaching last year. Nevertheless, Im so blessed and glad to be still involved in your lives; your well-being; your growth.

We shared things we didnt share before & Im grateful for those trust and even regard. Rest assure that I will be there whenever you all may need me. I look forward to spending more time with you all in the coming year end vacations. Im a student now also, so, I can at least still be with you all these 4 years, haha.

This week overall can be summed up with one word: Blur.

I was so blur and committed so many careless mistakes that I felt so ashame of myself, haha. Im sorry to you again, to have made you go to school alone, twice, and also for making you wait with me, not putting your precious time to good use. I wish and want to be more focussed so that I wont be a burden to anyone, any situation in future.

Im giving you time to consider and ponder over what you want. Settle what you need to settle first and I will wait.

* James, Im praying for you everyday. Hope you can stand up again and walk out of your current darkness. There will always be light at the end of the tunnel; rainbow at the end of a storm. Peace is not having no turbulent in your life. Peace is being in the middle of chaos yet remain unwavered. May peace be in you, & also in all my students, friends and readers of this post.

Back To The Future

2008-08-30T09:26:00.000-07:00

Back To The Future

"I wish I could turn back time". & a few days ago I recalled a song by Aqua: "If only I could turn back time, If only I could say what I still hide. If only I could turn back time, I could stay for the night, for the night". I am caught in this transitional period and I must say I hid it well. I am not adapting to NIE as well as others deem me as. Perhaps I can pretend well, or I was distracted by an even more disturbing issue, which I really wish to put a quick end to it.

Yes, I dont sound happy, & I dont intend to pretend to be happy anymore. It is tiring to be who I am not, when I was so happy to be who I want to be.

There are so many times we may fall in this path of life. We were not promised that roses will be laid on this path; in fact we were already prepared for tough times. However, easier said than done. We usually get so cooped up in our own situation, that we failed to realise & look at the possible solution, however slim it may be.

It is so easy for me to fall back on my fond memories in HSS when I was still teaching. Happily doing what I wanted to do and basking with the students I love being around with. Those 19 months were irreplaceable; unforgettable. There were many times I still couldnt accept the fact that I am no longer the "Mr Law" I used to be. Weakness it may be; escapism others may deem it. But when I thought of those good times, I can bring myself out of the present situation, however bad it may be, but only temporarily.

But, the root problem is still not solved. Harping & holding fast to PAST good times wont help the PRESENT situations. Sometimes, not being in the present, facing the present, seeking to solve the present is itself another set of problem. I learned this after these past few weeks of "escapism". Time lost will never be retrieved. The key to really be happy is to make full use of the present that we have and treasure whatever things or people with us.

Bring Me To Life.

"What Do You Want Out Of Teaching?"

2008-08-26T08:35:00.000-07:00

"What do you want out of teaching?"

This question was posted by my AED105 lecturer to us during lecture. Many responses were illicited and many perspectives were shared. I benefitted and got my belief system renewed and reaffirmed.

All along I had learned one principle, & still am holding fast to that no matter what happens.

"Treat others with respect regardless of who they are and you will win your respect". I was not respected as a person, as a student, as a friend when I was young, & I can understand how terrible the feeling is when one is given such treatment. So as I grew, I told myself that I shall treat people with respect, even if they may do me wrong. Well, Im not perfect so that principle did fell at times. I carried this belief with me into HSS when I started teaching.

"Although Im your teacher and an adult, I will give all of you my respect & treat you all as teenagers & not children. But if you cross the boundary and overdo, I will take back my respect for you". This was my pet sentence as I introduced myself to all my previous classes on my first lessons. I dont know how much was received and perceived by them, but I do know some did at least.

As I recalled, I am very touched by a few letters from some students as I left HSS in July.

"Thank you Mr Law for accepting our class and gave us respect. We feel appreciated and cared for and that made us want to learn from you."

"No teacher treated me with respect but you did"

I am not boasting. All these welled up in my mind as the lecture went on & as I reflected on the things I had done in my 19 months in HSS. I smiled as I recollected because I think I did what I had set out to do: To teach students the meaning of respect and the feeling of being respected. Respect is to be earned, not commanded.

I want to preserve my beliefs and ideals in teaching and not waver in the advent of challengesand crisis. I mean it.

Confusion

2008-08-20T09:12:00.000-07:00

Adapting ManyBreaks TimeWasting Challenging Noisyclass LikePrimarySchoolkids Quite Irritating CatFeedingClub AED105ProjectPresentationImminent ValuesOfEducation KohlbergElkindBanduraLipmanBronfenbrenner AED102GroupWork AssignmentsComingUp CannotGoOBS StarliteAudition ToldICantSingWellEnough BoughtNewAdizeroRunningShoes BuyingHavanasSandals WannaWatchXFiles ClearingPhoneBills NeedNewDesktop GotNewDrawers&Table ConfusionOverTheIssue CantReadHerMind HesitatingToSayWhatIWannaSay DontWantHerToFeelLost&Guilty GearingUpForMoreRuns SadToHearOfBadNewsFromStudents IKnowYouAllAreBetterThanWhatSheThinksYouAllAre DontLetHerDefeatYou IWillFightOnTogetherWithYouAll NeverGiveUp&NeverSayDie HSS2e3JamesSpiderLizardBadmintonKakkiesApolloRocks

Apollo Sentosa Outing

2008-08-13T08:42:00.000-07:00

Apollo Sentosa Outing

A great day @ Sentosa with my beloved OG: Apollo!

I am really fortunate to have had two magnificient & fun OG in my JJC & NIE orientations. Well, how easy is it for strangers who barely knew one another for a few days and coming from different walks of life to be able to still bond after the orientation? It is not easy I must say. Thank God for blessing me with such great friends, who I believe will make my 4 years of NIE life interesting and vibrant yea, if we hold on together.

As the saying goes:"A picture paints a thousand words". I shall let the photos taken on that day do the talking. It was a wonderful (though painful) Monday school holiday.

The group photo

Guys power. Apollo Oei!

Sinner Sin Er Sin Ng Sin Ee

Now with the shirts on.

I wish for more such outings in future with Apollo. Thanx alot for all the fond memories and time spent together so far.

"Treasure what you have for you may not know what tomorrow may brings or take away from you" -- Unknown

Defiance

2008-08-09T09:42:00.000-07:00

"Defiance" is a word we so often use & so often hear.

When we were a child, if we were to be slightly disobedient to those who were more senior than us, we are defiant. "No, I dont want to learn piano, I prefer to play soccer" = defiance.

Adolescence is the stage when this word is being used the most frequent on us, and people usually term it as the "turbulent stage". Any answer that is opposite to the adults' is seen as a challenge, a form of defiance. Sometimes when we say something, it is defiance. When we keep quiet instead, it is also defiance - silent defiance they term it. "Well, I prefer to do it my way. I think that yours may not work" = defiance + pride. Sometimes adults cant seem to be pleased with any way a teenger do something. It just makes people exasperated.

Because of the exasperating adolescence experience, when many have reached the stage of adulthood, their defiance become a form of indifference. Indifference is the most dangerous and hardest form of defiance to tackle. "I am not bothered by what happened because I cant be bothered anyway."

Sometimes it is the situations that others put us in that made us defiant. Cant they stop short to listen a little more, observe a little more, feel a little more before they speak and pass remarks? Perhaps people usually thought that teenagers are the ones who have to grapple with "defiant" issues. Actually, adults do also. I am one of them. What is wrong with wanting to be different from others, being not the norm, being the special case? Are we really so cooped up in this society that prize only collectivism; the art of following what others do, even if it means to demean oneself? I dont understand, and sometimes I am turning my defiance into indifference.

Many think that defiance is baddddddd, is something negative. Even religious leaders go against people who have defiant behaviour or action. The issue here is: sometimes defiance is a form of self defence. It is not the action that is wrong, it is the attitude. I am also not a supporter of defiant attitudes. It is sometimes the mentality and action that I think is necessary, for us to be able to come out of a situation.

Imagine someone branded you "stupid, lousy and a good-for-nothing with no talents and abilities". If one were to have a defiant attitude as a response to that, he/she will purposely go against the person, say a teacher, by not doing the homework, not studying for tests and exams. The end result is, the student completed the mission to be a defiant one by failing the subject, but at the expense of his own future. On the other hand, having a defiant mentality, the student will go against what the teacher said by working doubly hard and scoring well to prove the teacher wrong. Both are defiance, but the latter one is the type which should be encouraged, because it can turn defeat into victory.

Even in many aspects of life, defiance is necessary. I was reminded of sports. If my team were to be behind my opponent and time is ticking away, the norm would be "we will lose for sure,we cant catch up". But it is the defiance of "we shall never give up. The battle is not lost yet" that will give us the slim lifeline. Isnt that defiance? Isnt that the key to turning imminent defeat into victory? If we do not even possess that tinge of defiance, how do we become overcomers and winners?

I am a defiant person. I will not jump on the bandwagon blindly just because someone told me so, and told me that it is good for me. I mean, well, I am also a human made by God who has so kindly given me a brain to think, eyes to see, mouth to speak and hands to do. So I believe that not everything that people tell me may be necessarily good for me. Give me a chance to try, to experience, to enjoy life. Of course apart from committing vices and the unethicals, i do wish to make use of all the abilities God has bestowed me. I want to remain active and be an overcomer of adversities.

The new start in NIE

2008-08-06T07:58:00.000-07:00

Well, today is the 3rd day of schooling life for Mr Law, & I must say it is not at all that rosy. Apart from that daze sustained from the hectic but fun orientation week which made me lose my voice, the immense commitment required for GESL is not really helpful to my recuperation. Im fine with the idea that NIE is trying to help expand our network and also for us to build rapport with fellow school mates, but perhaps not so much during our transition period I suppose. Frankly speaking, I would prefer to spend more time with my OG Apollo. Being split between two groups is not at all beneficial in helping us to establish strong and sound friendships. This of course, is solely my own opinion.

1st lesson on Mon, glad to see Michelle Tan from V3. I prefer to have a friend for lesson always. Geography is best, because of Ms Sin EEEEEE who will be my classmate for at least one semester, and also 2 other OG friends for lecture. Geography is my least lonely module. History is kinda fine also, have Alfred as my mate and also a few CTSS juniors. Just that the lecturer is a little soft. It would be much appreciated if he could use a mic for future lectures. Talk about my AED105. To sum it up, there are 22 students in the class; 21 are females.......... I know that males are rather scarce in NIE, but I cant fathom why my class has only 1 male?! Dont the programmer know that I feel so out of place in the class, with 21 females? Somehow, I feel that Im unwelcomed, in a world of all girls.

In a new environment, one must learn how to adapt, and in this fast paced world, speed in the adaptation is also essential. The saying that "time waits for no one" is true. I could have due to my age and experience, not bothered to make friends or make myself adapt to the changes around me. I could have allowed time to pass me: the time & opportunity to base myself in NIE by making friends. Again, it boils down to choices. Imagine if I had chose not to open myself to knowing my OG during the orientation camp; not keeping close contacts with them after the camp; not bothering to check who my classmates will be before my lessons and choose to sit by myself. A lot of what ifs. But Im glad I made the sound choice of maintaining a open mind and heart. Relishing the chance to meet more people in NIE.

Looking forward to my NIE life.

NIE Freshmen Orientation Camp 28-30th July 08

2008-07-30T06:56:00.000-07:00

I thought I have attended enough camps. This camp was made compulsory to all students, so I had to participate also even though I know I would be the oldest among all the freshies. True as it was, but I didnt regret participating in this orientation camp.

It was a rather frustrating Mon morning as I had to wake up at 5.45am, because I was required to arrive in NIE (Boon Lay) by 7.30am. I miss going to HSS every morning taking only 10 mins. But I have to look forward, because Im a student now. The registration was fast relatively, but the icebreaker a little boring. If I were to take over, Im sure it will be much better. However, again I told myself, "Im a student now, no longer Mr Law the Humanities teacher". The lectures were all informative but dry, majorly due to the early wakey. Can barely keep myself awake and yes Hendersonians, Mr law understands how some of you struggle in class now. It was an agony!

The wet station games after those long lectures served as good icebreaking and warm up. We did very well in all the games, but, we sucked in cheers. I know many cheers, but I didnt want to contribute as yet, because I wanted to lie low and let the younger ones try to lead. But, as my character did not allow me, I stepped forward to take up the control over my OG (Orientation Group) "Apollo" when I realised that no one was able or willing to do so. This is when the "old man" comes in handy huh?

Fright Night was not at all frightening. It was instead hilarious as I heard the screams from other groups & also the corniness of the "ghosts". Haha, kudos to the "floor sweeping army boy" and "where is my bottle lost soldier". They rock, though more funny than scary. Throughout the night activities, who knows whether we were touched by the real "brothers" or not....... By the way, girls can be scarier than ghosts when they are in a state of shock and fear.

The 2nd day brought us out of NIE and to City Hall. Amazing Race as usual, now a commonplace for most camps, though it has somehow lost its originality. Apollo rocks to the core! We set the record for 3 stations and we truly were such a team. Though tiring, but the group made that great difference. Night came the "Finale Night". I was disappointed with the behaviour and also the words spoken by some teachers-to-be. I was sad and angry that they even chose to do teaching when they themselves had not learn how to be civilised and logical humans. Hercules, you are such a disappointment because of your unsportsmanship, and no thanks to your "Pamela version of Hercules". Some boys who just came out from NS can really be still so immature and dirty in thoughts. Mr Law wanna say "wake up and grow up boys".

I was chosen by Apollo as the best camper, something which I had unexpected, because I really really wanted to keep a low profile and just go to this camp to participate. Due to the lack of good leadership in the group and family, I was "forced" to take the lead and I realised that if you have really got what it takes (talents and abilities), you wont be able to hide them however you may want to. God gave us talents so that we can make full use of them. I believe I did in this camp.

In a nutshell, I was very honoured and glad to be in Apollo. Although we did not win any honours, those were merely material. I knew this group had teamwork, coooperation, direction, patience, enthusiasm, passion, drive and also youth. I feel so young in this group all because Apollo did not treat me as an 26 years old "uncle", but treated me as their equals. It is such an irony that most of those seniors who planned this camp were much less experienced and much younger than me, but I still had to listen & follow their instructions.

I realised and learnt that in this camp, I could simply choose an easy path: to be arrogant and not listen to these juniors. I was thankful that I didnt. I was proud that I managed to continually remind myself to be humble, to be cooperative however good I think I may be as compared to them. It is not easy and I must say I felt a little pissed when some of them talked to me real rudely.

"Hey com'on, im 6 years your senior and planned more camps than you participated. You are telling me to what? Please dont put up that airs of yours and display your smug face. You have not even tasted teaching before so please dont act as if you are a great teacher liao. Teaching is not as simple as you think it is, juniors."

But I shall forgive them. I shall teach them how to show people respect, like how I did in HSS. I will have to continually remind myself to forget about my seniority and experience, but learn to be like them and study with the most possible positivity.

HSS & Apollo reign.

A Day to Icebreak

2008-07-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

It was my 2nd day of orientation today, and through the teambonding activities, I managed to know beyond the initial 4 friends that I have on my 1st day in NIE. Though not as "ra-ra" as when I was younger in my JC orientation days, I was still considered relatively active & enthu ya. 1.30pm was my course registration & also the release of my subjects offered. I had opted for Geography (my fav) and English (to improve my England, which is rather powderful), but was disgruntled and shocked to know that I am offered Geo & Hist....

Not that Im against History, but studying both Geo & Hist can be really quite heavy and pose as a big challenge. Both are heavy content subjects which require alot of memorising and appropriate studying techniques. Yes, although Im only 21 yrs old (my imagined age), there's still a limit to what I can remember and be tested on. I was brooding over this reality for some time, when I was suddenly reminded, ironically.

"Whats up man? Havent I been teaching both Geo & Hist this year? I still managed well mah (again my imagination). So getting this combination shouldnt overwhelm me that much right?" Bearing this in mind, the obstacle & burden were lifted off my heart and shoulder. I was able to smile as usual as I left NIE with Alfred. Things arent as bad as I had imagined them to be afterall.

In life, we may not get what we want all the time, or we may not even get to make a choice over certain things. Sometimes after knowing a result or news, our natural reaction is to be negative & pessimistic. "Oh shit! Die liao, I cannot lah, its too difficult already. Wah, why am I so suay????? Sianz!"

Do you know when the flower will blossom?
Do you know when the rainbow will appear?
Do you know when your day will come?
How then do we know that we will sure to fail in a situation or task, when we have not given ourselves a chance to experience it? Who knows that because we made that decision and choice to try and do our best, that actually is the right combination to success?

Perhaps choices are not given by others to us; choices are given to ourselves by ourselves. We choose how we can feel when something bad happens; we choose to be happy despite all the unhappy things that happen. We choose to live life to the fullest and most fulfilling.

Hello Hendersonians. Mr Law here!

2008-07-24T06:10:00.000-07:00

Hello all my beloved students, this is Mr Law here. This shall be my blog to be used to update all those out there with regards to my life in NIE. As there are so many of you all out there, I suppose this blog will serve you all well as well as serve me well in knowing all your progresses and happenings in HSS. I miss all of you and while I hope all of you will work hard in school, I will work doubly as hard in my own studies also. Lets fight on together for our future!

* Thanx James and QT for doing up this blogskin. You two are my dearest.

Cheeroz & Go Go Jia You!